weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
How external is "for external use only"?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
