yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
