The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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