I want to make a zoo with you.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
