it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
