So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
