why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
