Sponge bath it is.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my sisters under your porch take her home
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
