remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
