Whod you bang
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
