Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
