i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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