Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
