I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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