The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize