Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I want to fling myself into the sun
All the doctor said was why
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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