he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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