"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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