I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
