tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize