Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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