ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
