Plan B is the new Plan A
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
