He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
