So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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