wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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