oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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