the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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