all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
