Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
