so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
