it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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