We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize