we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Damn victory sex feels great
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
