I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
