I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
