I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize