But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
