Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
