I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
