I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
