do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
