One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
