sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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