OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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