Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
