I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Randomize
