the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
