Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
