She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
this just has baby written all over it
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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