this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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