So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize