check it out our google latitudes are spooning
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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