I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
