apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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