so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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