I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
