I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize