Im at strip club and am horny
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
