How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
