I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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