Me too!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
