I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
