then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
