I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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