girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
