Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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