Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
